


before i sleep

by freedomatsea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Doggy Style, Emma's an Emerging Badass, F/M, Fantasy, Fingerfucking, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Historical Fantasy, Loss of Virginity, Pre-Medieval Fantasy, Savior Emma, Virgin Emma, werewolf!killian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 22:07:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7862971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freedomatsea/pseuds/freedomatsea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma's disenchantment with her status within her tribe only grows when an injured Were is brought to her, destined for death and she can't help but feel that perhaps, it's not the Weres that are the monsters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	before i sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [only_halfway_there](https://archiveofourown.org/users/only_halfway_there/gifts).



> I've finally been bitten by another werewolf!Killian fic. I'm not sure how many 'acts' this will be, but I know it'll be at the very least two. This fic is full of smut, this chapter, whenever the next chapter comes, and so forth. I should also explain that while secondary characters retain names from OUAT characters, ie. David, Belle, Graham - none of them are meant to be the actual characters. Rather, they look like them, but their personalities are completely different. I had intentionally planned to have none, save for Emma and Killian, bearing OUAT names - but I chose to keep them, because I pictured those actors while writing them. Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this! I've been hammering away at this over the past month - I've been so busy I couldn't just sit and write it all out like I wanted. It's a terrible world these two live in.

Act I

* * *

 

 

 _The woods are lovely, dark and deep._  
But I have promises to keep,  
and miles to go before I sleep.

 

Emma was startled by the sudden intruder in her home. It wasn’t uncommon for her fellow tribesmen to seek her out throughout the day, but it was evening. This was meant to be her _private_ time, when she was allowed to seek solace and renew herself for a new day. Her hand went to the dagger strapped to her hip, her heart racing in her chest as she registered who it was in her hovel.

“Belle…” Emma started to say, her eyes narrowing as she looked past the brunette to the men hauling in a bloody body on a gurney. “Who is _he_?” Even from where she stood she could tell that he was not like her people. The hair on the back of her neck was standing on end.

“Found the wreckage of ship on shore. Looks like a storm or worse.” David said as he and the other man unceremoniously dropped him at her feet.

Emma bent down, not caring that the stranger’s blood was ruining her pure white robes she slept in. She’d just been preparing for her nightly rituals when they’d barged in. She reached out to brush aside his tattered shirt, confirming her suspicions. A crescent moon scar was carved into the dip between his collarbones – the mark of what he was. “You expect me to heal a _Were_?” They would perceive her disgust to be because of what he was, but it was more at the knowledge of _why_ they wanted her to heal him.

“Yes, we do. It’s your duty to heal _all_ who we bring to you, Savior.” David said firmly, giving her a daring look. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d defied them, but in the end she always submitted. That was her duty and honor. All that she’d ever known. Since she’d been chosen as the Savior for their tribe, she’d never known a day they hadn’t called upon her.

“You have interrupted my time of peace.” Emma protested, her eyes lingering on the half-dead man at her feet. His blood ran no differently than hers or any other’s and her heart ached to heal him, to touch him… She shook her head at the unusual path her mind took. “Go. Leave me to do your bidding.” She waved her hand dismissively at the audience.

“He’s not so dangerous now, is he?” Belle remarked, kicking him firmly in the stomach. Emma winced.

“That’s enough. As it is, I doubt I’ll be able to revive him.” Emma knelt down, her arm defensively placed in front of him to keep them from harming him any further. “You defeat the purpose of my healing if you continue.”

“As soon as he’s revived, send for us.” David told her as they retreated out of the hovel.

“If I succeed it won’t be until sunrise.” Emma warned, before she followed after them to bolt her front door and close the shutters of her windows. She didn’t need eyes on her.

She knelt beside the Were again, rolling him onto his back. He was incredibly handsome, despite his injuries. Emma was no fool – the majority of these had not come from a shipwreck. Given the fresh bruising rising to his cheeks and the blood that ran from his nose the men had tormented him first.

“You poor foolish Were, you should have known better than to come to this island.” She remarked as she brushed his dark hair off his forehead in a tender gesture. Emma worked to remove his ruined shirt, leaning forward to rest her cheek against his chest. His heartbeat was faint, almost fleeting. “You would have been luckier if you died.” She informed the lifeless body as she set about accounting his injuries.

His body was covered in scars – claw marks, teeth marks, swords, and arrows. He had seen his fair share of injuries in his lifetime, but she kept reminding herself that she was concerned with the fresh wounds. The sea in his lungs, the shattered bones, severe bruising.

Emma removed her robe to drape over his groin for modesty’s sake as she removed his trousers. She apologize profusely to his comatose form that she was sorry to be removing his clothing without his permission. Of course, were he awake he’d most likely be raring to rip her apart. Once she’d returned some of his strength she’d have to bind him in silver to render him defenseless.

She was fairly certain she’d never seen a man like this Were. He was incredibly handsome. His features were almost _too_ perfect. Was that some trait Weres had? Did they use good looks to subdue unsuspecting maidens? Well she was no unsuspecting maiden, just a maiden.

Emma closed her eyes and summoned her strength to start healing him. First she focused on the bones, drawing together shattered fragments, some that may have been from long before he washed ashore. Then she sought to mend the strained and tattered ligaments and muscles.

He came awake beneath her touch, breathing raggedly as his eyes frantically searched his surroundings. “Who are you?”

Emma’s heart skipped a beat at the low, gravely tone of his voice. “That’s not important. Lay still while I heal you. I don’t want to have to bind you.” She confessed.

“You’re a...” He hissed out, grabbing at her wrists. “Unhand me.”

“ _Shhh_.” Emma whispered, twisting herself free from his still-feeble grasps. “I don’t wish to harm you.” She didn’t, but her tribe did. “I’m healing you. I fear a storm… and my people have left you quite injured.” Emma returned her hands to his chest, running tiny little circles over his skin.

He blinked up at her, his brows pinched together. “Why should I trust you?”

“Does this place look like the hovel of a Were murderer?” Emma questioned, already knowing the answer. It was a pristine, sacred space. Her entire life felt like the altar to which her existence was offered up to the gods.

The Were, however, didn’t see it the same way. He swatted her hands away before he lunged into action, snatching the blade that was strapped to her hip, knocking her onto her back and holding it close to her throat. “I have known wolves to dress in sheep’s clothing.” He gritted out, the blood that ran from his nose dripping down his lips and dropping onto her face beneath him.

Emma remained calm, despite the cold bite of the blade against her throat. “This is quite the thanks for healing you.” She retorted heatedly. “If I wanted you dead I would have called for my tribe the second you were lucid.” With that, Emma boldly wrapped her legs around his hips as she threw her weight into the action and rolled him onto his back.

He howled out in pain and her hand went to cover his mouth. “Please keep quiet. They’ll come for you now if you sound so cognizant.” Emma told him, before she realized how intimately she was pressed against him, her legs straddling his hips, in a very inappropriate fashion. He was naked. She’d _never_ been that close to a man before. Emma recoiled quickly, drawing her legs up beneath herself as she sat beside him, returning her dagger to her hip. “I could have killed you a dozen times over and yet all I have done is heal you.”

The man stared at her blankly. “Your kind doesn’t help Were.”

“You’re right.” Emma sighed, staring down at her hands that were covered in his blood. “We don’t. I healed you because my elders requested it and I cannot disobey them without insulting the gods.” She explained before looking towards him cautiously as he drew her robe back over his lap. “They intend to sell you.”

His eyes flashed threateningly. “I will not be sold into slavery.”

“Typically not slavery,” Emma bit down on her bottom lip. “There’s a band of warriors that come through, looking for new training material.”

“Sounds like slavers to me.” He countered, fixing her with a cruel glare. “Trust me. To fight for them is to die without freedom.”

Her heart clenched. He sounded like he had firsthand experience with them already. “I don’t intend to turn you over to my elders. I already made that decision.” Emma confessed, moving towards him. “Let me finish healing you and then I will let you go.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve already lost your ship and your pack. You don’t need to lose your freedom too.”

He snorted. “My crew is safe and sound, m’lady. I came alone. Too dangerous for them to come with me.”

Emma frowned. “A noble Were? How unusual. I thought you were all fearsome, cruel, monsters.”

“Ah, the beautiful lies of your people’s ideology.” He flopped back onto the ground with a wince of pain. “Heal me then. Whichever way this goes, I need to be at full strength.”

“What’s your name?” Emma questioned, her breathing a little unsteady as she stared down into his impossibly blue eyes.

“Captain Jones… Killian.”

Emma smiled a little. “I’m Emma. I have a title too, but it’s rather pretentious,  _Captain_.”

“Emma….” Killian mused, his eyes flickering over her face. “Thank you for sparing me.”

“I couldn’t find it in my heart to let them have you.” Emma admitted, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ll tell them you overpowered me and escaped.”

Killian nodded slowly. “If you’re anything like your tribe, they’re quite fierce.” He rubbed at his jaw. “I barely remember it, but I do remember a blonde one with a strong jawline raining hell down on me.”

“David, no doubt.” Emma sighed. “He’s one of our finest fighters. He is not particularly fond of Weres.” She told him, before focusing on healing him once more. They both fell silent as her magic worked through him. Her heart beat faster as Killian lifted his hand to cover hers where it rested on his chest. No other man had ever sparked this strange fire in her soul. Of course it had to be a Were – one that her tribe wanted for nefarious reasons.

Emma jerked her hands away from his chest at the sound of a knock at her door. “ _Gods_.” She hissed out, pressing a finger to his lips when he started to sleep. “You have to keep quiet. How good are you at playing dead?”

“I can even fetch.” He retorted with a roll of his eyes. 

“With silver on?”

Killian frowned. “I’d prefer not.”

“They’ll take you away otherwise.”

“They’ll be able to take me even easier if you render me defenseless.”

Emma jumped a little as the knocking became pounding at her door. “Trust me.”

Killian hesitated for a long moment, before he fell back against the floor, his eyes closed. “The second they leave, take it off me.”

Emma swallowed thickly as she moved to find silver chains in one of her trunks. They had been used for years for rituals. Mostly when her people sacrificed Weres up to the gods, so that they never attacked her tribe again. It rendered them completely powerless and from what she understood, it hurt tremendously in the process. “I’m sorry.” She whispered as she knelt beside him, she didn’t have the time to lay them over him gently.

Killian grimaced as she covered his bare skin with the potent medal. She draped them over all the key points – his neck, his waist, his wrists, and his ankles.

“I’m coming!” Emma called out as her door rattled with the weight of one of the men slamming his shoulder into it. “Would you please cease from assaulting my home? Forgive me for not being prompt, but I was doing _your_ bidding.” She fixed David with a cold glare.

“Is he ready?” David questioned as he stepped into her hovel, glaring at the Were sprawled out on her floor. “I see you have the silver on him already.”

Emma’s heart lurched. Killian would think the worst of that comment. Sure, she’d intended to bind him with silver, but then he’d awoken and those blue eyes didn’t strike fear into her heart. “I told you before, he won’t be ready until sunrise.” She looked out the door. “And it’s still dark.”

“He looks _fine_.” David crossed his arms across his chest, staring down at her skeptically.

Emma rolled her eyes. “You clearly do not understand the art of healing.” She gestured towards the door. “Come back at sunrise and he will be ready for you.”

David lingered in the doorway before he finally left and Emma barred the door shut. She waited until she was absolutely certain he wouldn’t return to move back to Killian. “I’m sorry about that.” She whispered as she removed the chains from his ankles. “I know it sounded bad, what he said about me chaining you, but I promise I have no intention of turning you over.” She told him as she removed the chains from his waist and wrists. He was staring up at her with a look in his eyes that she wasn’t familiar with. It was a look that could kill without any of the violence. Hesitantly her fingers gathered up the silver from his throat, releasing him fully.

Killian surged up, catching the back of her head, dragging her towards him. In a moment of panic she reached for her blade, just as she realized what his intentions were. His lips crashed against hers. Emma had _never_ been kissed before. That was part of her being the Savior. She was meant to be untouched, pure, virginal. And now, she had been _kissed_. By a Were, no less.

And gods was it good.

Emma pulled back from the kiss, blinking hazily at him. “What was… What was that for?” She questioned, her voice coming out shakily.

Killian lifted his fingers to his mouth, brushing over his lips as he stared at her. “A thank you. For keeping me safe.”

“Is that how you repay everyone who has your back?” Emma questioned, her tongue flicking out over her lips.

“It’s not a common occurrence in my life.” Killian reached out and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Especially not from someone whose tribe wants my hide.”

Emma felt her cheeks burning with a blush. “Kissing isn’t a common occurrence in _my_ life.” She muttered, lowering her lashes. “I’m supposed to be _untouched_.”

“Oh?” Killian flashed her an amused grin. “ _Oops_. You won’t forfeit your powers or something, will you?”

Emma shook her head. “They’re not tied to my purity. I think favor with the gods _is_ , but they might let it slide… I didn’t initiate it after all.” But she _wanted_ to. “I’ll need you to draw blood.”

“ _What_?”

“For it to look like you attacked me and broke free.” Emma was trying to keep herself focused on the matter at hand and not where she found herself envisioning their hands.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Killian frowned, his knuckles brushing gingerly over her cheek. He was so gentle with her. Unlike anything she’d ever heard about Weres. They were supposed to be monsters. That was what had been indoctrinated into her again and again.

“I will heal, don’t worry about me.” Emma leaned into his touch, letting her eyes flicker closed. “You have to leave before sunrise.” She whispered. “Be careful out there, Killian.” She turned her head as he cupped her cheek, pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand. Using her magic she dressed him in new clothes, not unlike the ones he’d come to her in.

“That’s impressive.” Killian murmured, brushing his thumb over her lips. “Couldn’t stand a naked Were on your floor anymore?” He teased.

Emma’s eyes opened slowly, “You’ll have to forgive my naivety, but… I didn’t trust _myself_.” The kiss had proven to enflame the spark she’d already been fostering. She didn’t trust the foreign desires she felt coursing through her veins. There was a need she knew he could sate but she was honor bound to ignore.

Killian nodded his head slowly. “I understand. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“No!” Emma lifted her hand to press against his lips. “Don’t apologize. I’ve always wondered what that would be like. It’s not as though anyone here will ever kiss me. They’re too afraid the gods will smite them.” She laughed bitterly.

“Good thing for you I’ve already had the gods smite me,” He tapped the crescent moon on his chest. “So how’d you get chosen to be your tribe’s token virgin?”

“My magic. There’s supposedly a healer in every generation and I was born with the gift.” She reached out and touched his cheek, marveling at the rough texture of his beard pressing into her fingers. “How will you get home?”

Killian shrugged. “It’ll take a while, but I’ll work my way back. I’m resourceful.”

“My people will go after you once they find me. Stay far away from the village and keep your tracks hidden.” Emma warned him. “They won’t capture you after you harm me, they’ll kill you.” Her heart clenched at the thought of losing him.

“Like that poor sod?” Killian questioned, nodding his head towards the wolf fur blanket that adorned her bed. 

Emma made a disgusted face. “I received that as a gift from one of our huntsmen.” She dropped her hand away from his face. “I’ve been taught to believe that your kind seek only to destroy us. I’ve never known a redeemable trait attached to Weres.” She started to stand up but Killian caught her hand and pulled her back down to him.

“We are not good people Emma. I know many of my kind that would have already seen you torn limb from limb.” He ran his fingers up her arm, his gaze hot against her skin. “Don’t mistake my kindness as that of all Weres.”

“Why didn’t you want to kill me?” Emma questioned, looking down at where his fingers were dancing over her skin.

Killian chuckled, “ _Ah_. Well, partly because you did heal me. Partly because you are _very_ beautiful, which ties into the third partly…Which isn’t quite acceptable for your tender virgin ears.” He winked at her.

Her cheeks felt like they were on fire. “ _What_?” She blinked dumbly at him. “That’s not fair.”

“Sorry, love.” He smirked at her, leaning in a little closer, his breath dancing over her lips. “I don’t want to taint your pure mind.”

Emma narrowed her eyes at him, shoving at his chest. She was thoroughly unamused by his cocky attitude. “Tell me.”

“We don’t want the gods to smite you too.” Killian retorted lowly, his fingers tracing over the curve of her collarbone.

Emma threw caution to the wind as she closed the distance between them. Her lips met his with the fire she felt building between her thighs. She wasn’t so naïve that she didn’t understand what that meant. Her body wanted him, _she_ wanted him.

Killian groaned against her lips, his tongue sweeping out over them and she accepted his plea for entrance. Their tongues met somewhere in the middle, tangling together as they both sought to consume one another. He tried to pull her closer, but she resisted the urge. She had already straddled him one too many times this evening.

Emma let out a ragged little cry when his hand brushed over her breast – whether intentionally or not she didn’t care. Her nipple was drawn into a taut pebble at that single action that sent shockwaves of want through her system. “We have to stop.” The words fell from her lips as she pulled back to catch her breath. She wanted to do anything _but_ stop. She was on fire and only he could quell the flames.

“ _Emma_.” He drawled out lowly, taking her hand into his. “It’s difficult to think about killing someone when they’ve made you go hard.” Killian brought her hand to his cock, letting her feel for herself how she’d affected him.

“Oh.” Emma’s eyes widened and her cheeks burned hotter than before. “That would explain it.” She breathed out. She understood the principles of the act, she _had_ seen animals rut before. But to know that she’d caused this was a heady thing. “Does it hurt?”

Killian chuckled, releasing her hand to rake his fingers through his hair. “Not exactly. It’s a good sort of _pain_.”

Emma let out a nervous laugh as she stared down at where her hand rested on his pants, her fingers shifting a little. She lifted her gaze to watch his face as his lashes fluttered and he licked his lips. “You were naked you know… I felt you.”

“When you straddled me?” He arched a brow at her. “You’re not so naïve are you?”

Emma slowly pulled her hand away from him. “It depends. I know a lot and very little.” She shifted closer to him so she could touch his face, brushing her thumb over the rise of his cheekbone. “But right now, I know that you ought to leave. It’s not safe for you here.”

“Is it safe for _you_ here?” Killian questioned, resting his hand at her hip.

“What?”

“Well, you always hear of virgin sacrifices…”

Emma laughed and shook her head. “I’m perfectly safe among my tribe.” She moved closer to him, seeking the warmth of his body that seemed so inviting. “I never realized how touch-starved I am.” She was so used to being untouched by gentle caresses that she’d never noticed she _wanted_ it.

“Just imagine how it’d feel if you were _naked_.”

“Killian!” She slapped him on the arm even as she found herself moving to sit on his lap, molding herself against his chest. She could enjoy it for a few minutes longer. “You’re so warm.”

“Perks of being a Were.” He remarked, winding his arms around her. “You’re trying to torture me aren’t you? Sitting yourself right where it _pains_ me most.”

“I’ll sit nice and still.” Emma whispered, closing her eyes. “I was getting ready to rest when they brought you in here. I’m very tired.”

Killian pressed a kiss to her temple, stroking his hand over her back. “You should rest.”

“You have to escape.” Emma protested halfheartedly. She felt so comfortable in his arms, it was hard to think about anything else.

“Don’t worry about me.” He assured her warmly, his lips brushing over her cheek as he spoke. “I’m good at surviving, they won’t catch me.”

 

* * *

 

Killian lingered at her bedside, taking in how beautiful she looked laying there. Her hair was fanned out beneath her on her pillow, her features soft and serene as she slept. He drew up her wolf fur blanket to keep her warm. She’d kept muttering about how warm he was. He didn’t want her getting cold.

She was not what he’d been expecting. She was beautiful and kind. How was it that everything he’d heard about her tribe and their Savior ignored those points?

Killian moved to unbar her front door, cracking it open a little. He shifted into his wolf form, welcoming the freedom from his human desires. He’d wanted her so badly that it had taken every ounce of morality and strength not to just go for it. Emma was a smart woman, she’d think of an excuse for his disappearance.

When he got back home he was going to tear out Charles’ throat for this. Aside from the fact that the mission had nearly cost him his life _and_ freedom, it wasn’t right. Sure, her tribe was vicious and bloodthirsty, but… _Emma_. Far from it. She’d healed aches he’d thought he was going to live with for the rest of his life. He couldn’t hurt her.

Now there was only the matter of getting off the island. Easier said than done. He’d have to travel to the other side and hope to encounter a trader ship willing to haul him back. He was pretty good in a fight, if he was lucky they might let him win a few rounds for their entertainment for payment.

Killian kept to the shadows as he wound his way through Emma’s village. Their homes were simple hovels, some were even built with still living trees for posts.

He caught sight of the one brute that had taken his anger against the Were out on him. David – that’s what Emma had called him. The one who was intent on offering him to the highest bidder.

“She’s reached her peak,” David said as he moved to join several other men around a fire beyond the cracked doorway Killian hovered at. “I’m tired of her insubordination at every turn. It’s time to sacrifice her before the gods lose favor in her too.”

Killian turned, headed straight back for Emma’s hovel when a woman caught sight of him and cried out that there was a wolf in their village. As much as he wanted to get that piece of information to her, he wasn’t going to be able to. He snarled as the woman fired arrows at him, dodging out of their path as he tore off towards the woods.

The forest was dark and he was incredibly thankful that his coat was as dark as night, otherwise he was going to be screwed. From the sounds of them, they weren’t in the mood to _catch_ him, as much as they were interested in skinning him. Emma was right there, though he hadn’t even needed to attack her to get hunted down like the animal he was.

 

* * *

 

“How did he escape?” David hissed out, catching Emma by the jaw when she lowered her head. “Look at me when you answer. _How_ did he escape?”

Emma tried to twist out of his grasp but he was strong and _angry_. “I don’t know! The screaming woke me up.”

“Woke you up? You fell asleep with a Were?”

“No!” The blood was pounding in her ears. “I was exhausted. I must have exerted too much energy healing him and lost consciousness.” It wasn’t completely untrue. She had been entirely too exhausted. She didn’t even remember climbing into her bed, but… Killian must have placed her there. “David please release me, you’re bruising me.”

David narrowed his eyes at her. “I believe you’ve forgotten your place in our tribe, _Savior_. You do our bidding, not the other way around.”

“I am your gateway to the gods, you should show a little more respect.” Emma scoffed as he released his hold on her and she rubbed at her jaws. “I understand you’re upset that the Were escaped, but blaming me is not the answer. You should have never brought him to me this late in the evening.” Emma wrapped her arms around herself. “I can’t be expected to perform like a trained monkey.”

David clenched his fist like he was humoring the idea of striking her, but he thought better of it. “Then by all means, _rest_.” He slammed the door behind him when he left. Emma moved back to her bed, curling into the sheets. She slid her hand beneath her pillow to get comfortable, frowning as her fingers bumped into something concealed there.

She pulled out a ring that had been tucked beneath her, it shimmered in the low light of her hovel. A moonstone. _Killian_. She rolled onto her back, holding the ring up in the light, smiling at the thought of him. She’d had to conceal her joy when David announced they were unsuccessful at finding him in the woods. He was still out there.

Her lips still tingled from the kisses they’d shared, her body still craved his touch. She foresaw many long afternoons of praying to the gods and meditating to purge him from her system. But those thoughts were pushed aside by thoughts of wondering what he’d feel like above her.

Would he have taken her like an animal? Bent her over and have his way with her? She hated to admit that the thought of _that_ sparked lust in her lower belly. She’d once walked in on Belle with one of her lovers and seen her laying on her back looking quite… unenthused by the situation.

“Gods forgive me. Those are not the thoughts I should be having. I should be… atoning for sins or something like that.” She still felt impossibly on edge. Like she’d denied herself of some wonderful moment.

Tomorrow was her usual day for gathering the herbs she needed from the forest. She doubted that anyone would let her go alone with Killian lurking in the forest. But at the same time, she wasn’t sure if Killian would have stuck around close to their village. If he was smart he hadn’t.

 

* * *

 

If he had been smart he would have already been on the other side of the island, seeking out someone willing to sail him home. Instead he’d found a hollowed out tree to spend the night in when the rain began to fall. He’d caught himself a buck for supper, in an attempt to sate the fatigue he felt from malnutrition from being at sea. It had worked, to an extent, but there was a hunger a full belly couldn’t cure.

Even as a wolf he couldn’t stop thinking about Emma. While he still retained the same thought pattern as man or wolf, human emotions were frequently stunted in his canine form. He’d expected to be free of that stabbing pain of longing whilst on all fours, but his mind was focused on _her_.

He was no saint. Though he was not as ruthless and cruel as some of his cohorts, he had never been _good_ either. There had been other women in his life, mostly one evening flings, or a weekend at port _at_ most (and only then, if he was in a particularly surly mood and seeking something to take his mind off things). But none of them had ever struck the same chord that Emma had. Of course, it had to be the one woman he really could not _ever_ have as his. She had her duties to her tribe, though they intended to kill her, and then of course he had his own allegiances that wouldn’t see to have her in their fold.

Killian’s head shot up at the sound of leaves rustling a few hundred feet away from him. He rose from where he lay, focusing on the sound.

 _Laughter_. The footsteps were light against the crispy leaves. A familiar voice joining in with the sounds of morning birds.

Emma.

His heart leapt with short-lived joy as he heard a second voice.

“I would have skinned him for you. Given you another fine fur for this winter.”

“That’s very kind of you Graham but –”

“It would have been offering. No _buts_ about it.” He insisted.

Killian listened closer, focusing on the way Emma’s heart was pounding. It was not the heart of a woman who was excited about her situation.

“He would have fetched us more dead than alive. There’s still a chance to catch him.” The man continued. “David wants us to go out on another hunting party this evening.”

“Then you should go and practice your aim.”

“You doubt my marksmanship?”

“ _Never_.” Emma’s laugh sounded pained. “But typically these walks of mine are alone, so that I might reflect with the gods. I understand the need for protection, but… I would like to be alone.”

Graham sighed heavily. “Don’t tell David, he’ll be displeased. I’ll be just over the hill in the valley. Call for me if you need me.”

Killian waited until he could no longer hear his footsteps to emerge from his hollow tree. Emma had her back to him as she knelt down to pick a flower. His stepped towards her slowly, listening to the way her heart sped up at the realization that she wasn’t alone.

Emma looked behind her, her brows knit together. “Please be Killian….”

Killian nodded his head before he shifted into his human form. “Forgive my bad manners. I didn’t intend to seem like I was stalking you.”

“What are you doing here? You should be clear on the other side of the forest.” Emma’s words were the opposite of what she was doing as she moved to him and threw her arms around his neck. “I was worried about you.”

Killian wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest as he buried his nose in her hair. “And I you.” Whatever this connection was between them, it was stronger than anything Killian had ever felt in his life. “I couldn’t go without seeing you again.”

Emma pulled back, lifting her hands to his face. “What’s wrong?” Was he truly that obvious? He’d been told he wore his emotions on his face, but she was good.

“I overheard David speaking about you last night.” Killian grimaced. “It appears that they are tired of you. He spoke of…” He swallowed thickly. “Perhaps my joke last night about sacrificial virgins was not so wrong.”

Emma pushed at his chest. “That’s ridiculous Killian! You must have misheard them.” She smoothed her hands over his chest. “They would never sacrifice me.”

“Well, that’s what I heard. They spoke of you being insubordinate—” Killian frowned, gently touching her jaw. “What happened?”

Emma shook her head, waving her hand dismissively. “It’s nothing.”

“A bruise like that is not _ever_ nothing. Who hurt you?”

“David.” She sighed, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his chest. “He was angry about you getting the best of me. It’ll heal today and be forgotten tomorrow.”

“I’m going to rip him limb from limb.” Killian growled out, holding her more possessively. “He has lost his patience for you. Don’t you believe me when I tell you he’s plotting your death?”

Emma shook her head. “No. That’s not what our tribe does. They don’t sacrifice their healer and Savior. That’s unheard of. He must have been angry.”

Killian frowned. “Right.” He narrowed his eyes at her. He was angry too, but he wasn’t about to hurt her because of it. She refused to believe him, which was understandable, but infuriating nonetheless. “Well, if you don’t believe yourself to be in danger I’ll be on my way.” He started to pull away from her but she caught his arms.

“What?” Emma’s brows knit together. “You stayed here because you thought I was in danger?”

“Why else would I be here?” He questioned, lifting his hand to rake through her golden hair. “But now you say that you’re in no harm I should leave before your huntsman there comes back.”

“He’s my nothing.” Emma glared up at him.

“I didn’t imply it _that_ way.” Killian gritted out, even though he had. There was a seed of jealousy taking root in his chest. “Unless of course you want a new wolf to cuddle with at night.”

Emma shoved at his chest. “You’re being ridiculous.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Graham is _nothing_. David sent him along to protect me from you. Which I don’t need. I wanted him to leave because… Well, I’d hoped that…”

Killian brushed his fingers over her cheek, lifting her chin up to meet her eyes. “What were you hoping for?”

“I was hoping you’d be out here still. I didn’t get to say goodbye last night.” Emma lifted her hand to show the ring she was wearing. “Did you mean to leave this behind?”

Killian smiled down at her. “I wanted to leave you with a token. Something to remember me by.” She curled her fingers around the back of his neck. “I should be purging you from my system right now, but all I want is you…”

Killian dipped down to kiss her, closing the distance. He knew it was wrong. But his brain wasn’t really thinking.

Emma pulled at the front of his shirt as she leaned up into the kiss. She was clearly just as desperate for him as he was for her. Which was a relief, because if he was the only one feeling like they were going insane.

The fabric of her dress was smooth and cool beneath his rough fingers as he trailed them down her back, drawing her closer. Killian urged her backwards until he had her pressed against a tree. He groaned against her lips as her fingers wound their way through his hair.

“ _Killian_.” She whispered against his lips as she pulled back, her breath coming out raggedly, causing her breasts to heave before him. “We shouldn’t…”

“I know.” Killian agreed, before his gaze dropped to her lips again and he leaned in to kiss her again. Emma didn’t protest, her body molding against his in that perfect way they fit together. Emma’s hands grew more adventurous and it had Killian reeling.

A twig snapping was what forced them apart. Killian’s eyes widened as he pulled back. “Your huntsman is returning.” He remarked, straining his ears to hear his slow pursuit. “That tree over there is hollow. Can you conceal me with your cloak?’

Emma rubbed her lips together and nodded. “And for the record he’s not _mine_.” She hissed out.

Killian flashed her a cocky grin before he shifted back into his wolf form. He looked up at Emma as she made a production of sweeping her cloak out, shuffling forward towards his tree.

“Emma, what are you doing?” Graham called out.

“What I always do when I’m alone.” Emma called back, shielding him until he was safely tucked into the hollow. “Are we leaving already?”

“I think it’s probably best.” Graham said and the tone in his voice made Killian want to go after him. He was far too possessive Emma. But he wanted her safe, despite what he had been sent to do.

Killian listened as Emma retreated from the forest with the huntsman. Her heart was pounding the entire way, but he knew it was for _him_. Gods, he’d really found himself in an unusual situation. He wasn’t supposed to be fraternizing with her kind and yet… that was all he wanted to do. He still couldn’t leave. Though she didn’t believe she was in danger, he did, and he wasn’t about to let her be murdered.

Perhaps it was convenient that his pack probably thought he was dead. He didn’t know when he’d make his way back to them and given that he was _far_ away from them, none of them would be able to sense him and report back.

 

* * *

 

Emma couldn’t sleep. She had thought for certain she’d be able to sleep once most of her tribe had left the village, but their rowdy cries to kill the wolf they’d departed with still echoed in her head. She hoped that Killian wasn’t still hiding in a hollowed out tree – that was far from safe. Anyone could have found him there.

She played with the ring she still wore. Honestly, she never wanted to take it off. Killian had sparked something within her that she was desperate to understand. As long as she lived he’d be the only to make her feel the way she did, regardless of the fact that shew as meant to be untouched.

Her door swung open and she sat upright in bed, ready to yell at or attack whoever it was. But her anger faded as she met Killian’s gaze. “What are you doing here? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“If I stayed out there any longer I was going to get killed.” Killian grimaced as he lifted his shirt to show where an arrow had gazed his side. “Your huntsman has a good aim.”

Emma all but leapt out of the bed to get to him. “You’re lucky he didn’t coat it in silver.” Her brows knit together as she reached out to touch the wound.

“I’m afraid I was unlucky there.” Killian turned so she could see that the arrow was still protruding from him. He hadn’t been able to remove it.

“I’m sorry.” Emma muttered as she tended to the injury. “I’m impressed that you were able to break the arrow off.”

Killian snorted. “So am I. I tried to get the rest out, but the silver…”

Emma nodded her head slowly. “You’re lucky I’m a healer.” She remarked as she leaned up to kiss him, distracting him as she drew the arrow out the rest of the way. It made her feel sick to her stomach that her tribe had drawn blood from him _again_. She knew from the scars on his body that he was no stranger to injury, but her tribe had experimented with many ways to bind a wolf. Silver tipped arrows with the least deadly. The worst were the arrows that released silver into the blood system – that would have killed him.

Killian cupped her cheek as he sank into the kiss. “Nice distraction.” He rasped out as he drew back from the kiss, touching at his side. “Bloody hell that hurts.”  

Emma grimaced as if his pain hurt her. “You should already be on the other side of the island. Away from their hunts.” She whispered, even though that was the last thing she wanted. “Why are you still here?”

“I still think they’re going to hurt you Emma. I won’t let them… Since you’ve treated me so kindly.” He said quietly, “If you don’t want to heal this, it’ll mend in time.”

Emma shook her head, “Of course I’ll heal you.” She gave him a look, “It’s only right, since my people are the ones that hurt you.” Her brows furrowed together as she slowly lifted his shirt up higher. “You’ll need to take this off.”

Killian flashed her a cocky grin, “Trying to get me undressed, are you?”

“You forget I’ve already seen you naked.” She shot back, her eyes cast downwards as he shed his shirt. “Are you always like _that_ around me?” Emma questioned, before covering her mouth in sheer horror. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. She’d caught sight of the straining bulge in his trousers and blurted it out stupidly.

Killian rubbed at the back of his neck. “Around you I’ve found the answer to that is _yes_.” He touched her chin gently, lifting her head to meet his eyes. “How do you want me?”

“ _What_?”

“To heal me.”

Emma laughed nervously. “Right… Sit on my bed.” She said, moving ahead of him to move the wolf fur down to the foot of the bed. “You’re lucky he didn’t use a more potent arrow on you. I would have hated to hear that they’d killed you.”

Killian moved to sit on the edge of her bed, “So am I. Then they’d have no one standing in their way of hurting you.”

Emma let out a heavy sigh. “No one is going to sacrifice me.” Even though she now questioned whether they would. David was furious with her still. But they’d do themselves more harm with the gods if they killed her. Unless the gods were displeased too. Which, given what she had been doing with Killian… “And if they do, that’s… my purpose.”

Killian turned to look at her. “Do you really believe that?”

“I don’t know.” Emma shrugged. “Before you came along I would have said yes. I never desired any of _this_ until they brought you in here. Now I lay awake at night thinking about your hands on my skin.” She told him as she covered his wound and focused her magic. She inhaled sharply as she felt his hand on her leg, slipping beneath the edge of her nightgown. “ _Killian_. I’m trying to heal you.”

“Nothing’s stopping you from healing me.”

“You’re distracting me.” Killian’s lips trailed along her jawline, making her shiver. “I can’t focus if you keep doing that.” She protested, even though she still felt her magic working, drawing his wound together neatly.

“I don’t think you need to focus now.” Killian drawled out lowly, his fingers trailing higher up her leg.

Emma bit down on her bottom lip to quell the little sound that rose up in her throat as he drew her closer. She let him pull her into his lap, his arms wrapping around her as he met her gaze. “You just can’t get enough of me, can you?” She questioned breathily, her lashes fluttering. She could feel him pressing up against her between her thighs.

“There’s a lot of things we can do, love… You’d still _technically_ be a virgin.” Killian smirked at her, leaning in to kiss her. “You’ll just not be as _pure_ as you were to start.”

“Oh?” Emma questioned as she chased his lips. Her fingers raked through his hair. “What sort of _things_?” She was playing with fire and she didn’t even care. Her body was already alight because of him, why not go ahead and let it all burn?

“Follow my lead.” Killian whispered as his hands fell to her hips, shifting her slightly atop his lap.

Emma’s brows knit together, thinking he was going to make her get off him. “ _Oh_.” She breathed out as he guided her hips to move above him, rocking herself against the bulge of his trousers. “That’s…” There wasn’t an appropriate word for the way the motion made her feel.

“Have you ever pleasured yourself, love?” Killian questioned, his words coming out low and raspy as he trailed them along her throat.

Emma shook her head, cheeks burning red at his questioning. “I… _no_. I can’t even pretend to begin to know what I would have done.” She admitted as she kept rocking her hips against him. She had a good idea now, however. Grinding down against him like that was causing her to press against the most deliciously sensitive part of her anatomy.

“Before tonight is over, you’ll know _exactly_ what to do.” Killian promised her, drawing back to meet her eyes. They seemed darker to her, the bright blue now clouded with the desire she was sure was in her own eyes. His hands raked up her sides, before he grasped at her breasts.

Emma gasped at the sensation that made heat flood her system. His thumbs worked in tight circles over her nipples, drawing them to taut peaks that showed through the thin fabric of her nightgown. “ _Killian_.” She hissed out, tugging at his hair as he bowed his head to cover one of her breasts, his tongue teasing the peak through the cloth.

Somewhere in the back of her head she was dimly aware of the fact that this was _wrong_. For so many reasons. She was the Savior of her people, she’d made a life long vow to purity and abstinence. Of course she’d made that vow as a young child, completely unaware of what she was promising to do without. No one had ever told her that one day she’d meet a man that made her feel like she was _finally_ alive. A man that she should have avoided at all costs. He was a Were – she’d been taught to never trust them, to kill them, to fear them. His people had destroyed countless tribes of her people and others like them.

She tugged sharply at his hair as she felt an unfamiliar tremble at her core. Her legs tightened their hold at his hips as she rocked against him faster, careening towards an unknown sensation. Killian covered her mouth with his to swallow the inevitable cry of pleasure as her first release tore through her. Emma shook from the intensity of it, pulling back to meet his eyes with her own wide-eyed look of wonder. “What… What was _that_?”

“That, my love, was an _orgasm_.” Killian drawled out, lifting her from his lap with a slightly pained expression. “There’s more of that in your future… if you _want_.”

Emma covered her face, feeling her embarrassment burning at her cheeks. “I shouldn’t…” She whispered, tilting her head to look at him then. “But that was so incredible.”

“There’s _more_ to that too.” Killian said lowly, brushing his fingers over her cheek. “No one will even know that you’ve experienced any of this.”

Emma gave him a look. “The gods will know.”

“But your people won’t.”

She reached for his hand, winding their fingers together. “Is this some ploy to defile me so their _sacrifice_ will be ruined?” She teased as she held his gaze. “Because even if it is, I still _want_ to know more about what you can do to me.”

Killian cocked an amused brow. “That thought hadn’t crossed my mind.” He admitted and she was mostly sure he was telling the truth. “But who am I to deny a lady’s wants?” Killian released her hand and move to lay lengthways on her bed, gesturing for her to join him.

Emma gave him a hesitant look before she moved to lay beside him. The look in his eyes was enough to make the fire burn within her again, her skin feeling a little too tight for her as Killian played with the fabric of her nightgown, drawing it up her legs.

“And you’ve _never_ touched yourself?”

Emma bit her lip and shook her head. “I was told it was forbidden. I mean, I’ve cleaned myself before, but… never for pleasure.” She admitted, swallowing thickly as her gown rose higher, revealing more and more of her bare flesh for his hungry eyes.

Killian smirked at her answer, far too pleased with her complete lack of experience. ‘Then I’ll teach you.” He promised, his fingers brushing over her inner thigh, drawing higher until he reached the fabric of her undergarment. “If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say the word.” He whispered as his fingers danced over her sensitive flesh.

Emma’s lashes fluttered and her lips parted with a soft gasp. “More.” She whispered, shifting into his touch, craving more of that delicious desire that fanned through her.

Killian obeyed her, pressing his fingers against her more intently, stroking them over her aching flesh. “You’re soaking wet, lass.” He drawled out, close to her ear.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“It’s a very _good_ thing.” He soothed when she tensed at that. “It means you _want_ me. Quite badly it seems.” He chuckled as he pushed her underwear aside and brought his bare fingers against her bare flesh.

Emma gasped a little louder at that, her inner muscles clenching at the pleasure he sparked. His fingers teased between her folds, before lighting upon a spot that made everything else fall away. But the sensation stopped all too quickly for her liking as Killian pulled his hand away. “What are you doing?”

Killian kissed her lips to silence her. “These are in my way.” He mumbled against her lips as he tugged the fabric down her hips. She shifted to help him get them off of her. “That’s better.”

Emma’s eyes fell closed as he kissed along her throat, his hand returning between her thighs. His fingers were rough against her untouched flesh, but the sensation added to the pleasure he was stroking. He focused on that same little bundle of nerves, alternating between gliding his fingers through her slick folds.

She could feel that pleasure building again, her stomach trembling in anticipation for it to burst once more. “ _Killian_.” She moaned, quite wantonly as he dragged his lips along her jawline. Emma’s back bowed up off the bed as he worked his fingers over her, bringing her right to the peak before leaving her on the cusp. “Don’t stop.”

A low chuckle rumbled in his throat, his lips close to her ear. “I want you to relax.” He whispered, his fingers gingerly playing over her sensitive netherlips.”I promise you that your maidenhead will remain intact. Just let me work _my_ magic.”

Emma blinked up at him as he leaned down to kiss her. She nodded, unsure of her own words then.  She did trust him, whether she should have or not. She spread her legs a little wider to accommodate his hand as he returned to teasing that bundle of nerves again. He got her right to the edge before she felt his finger probing at her center. She gasped, dragging him in for a kiss as his finger slid into her. He thrust it into her slowly, dragging it in and out of her as his thumb worked her right into that unfathomable pleasure.

She clenched around his finger, bucking her hips against his hand as she came down from her high. She should have been mortified, honestly. But instead she found herself curling closer to him, burying her face against his chest. “Why would anyone willingly abstain from that?” She questioned breathlessly.

“I don’t know, you’re the one who’s been abstaining.” Killian retorted with mirth.

“What about you?”

“Oh, I haven’t been abstaining…”

“That’s not what I meant.” Emma fixed him with a look as her hand ran down his chest.

Killian smiled fondly at her, “Ah, yes… Well, I can handle _that_ later.” He caught her wrist just as she started to skim over his stomach. “No need for wandering hands.”

Emma twisted her hand out of his grasp. “I know that men take care of themselves, but I’m sure there’s a way for me to handle it for you.” She fluttered her lashes at him as she resumed her downward pursuit.

“Aren’t we bold suddenly?” Killian laughed breathlessly. “I know how I’d like for you to handle it, but alas… We must keep you _virgin_.” He huffed a little before rolling onto his back. “You don’t _have_ to do this, you know.”

“But I want to make you feel as good as you’ve made me feel.” Emma said, biting her lip. There was a jealous part of her that wanted to be the _only_ one that made him feel good. Maybe because he’d be the only one who would do it for her. She knew that wouldn’t be the same for him.

Killian eyed her before he loosened the laces of his trousers, freeing his cock from its confines. Emma sucked in a sharp breath as she stared at it. Sure, she’d seen him naked but it had been _flaccid_. Now it was erect and quite proud of that fact.

“You’re quite large.” Emma muttered, her blood thumping in her ears as she shifted a little closer to him. “What should I do?”

Killian chuckled, “Give me your hand.” He said and she obeyed, guiding her hand to his cock.

Emma chewed on her bottom lip so hard she tasted the metallic tang of blood on her tongue. Slowly, Killian urged her to drag her fingers along the length of it. Once she got the hang of the motion he dropped his own hand, letting her work him on her own.

Killian’s face was in pure rapture. “That’s it, love.” He whispered, his lashes fluttering closed. “ _Fuck_.”

Emma shifted a little lower on the bed, pumping her hand faster over his length. She wanted him to feel just as incredible as he’d made her feel. The sounds he made was enough to make her burn all over again, her center aching for what she couldn’t have.

“I want to try something, Killian.” Emma whispered, lowering her head slowly.

“ _Emma_?” Killian questioned, looking down at her, holding her gaze as she parted her lips and took the head of his cock into her mouth. “Bloody hell.”

Emma smirked as she took more of his cock into her mouth. It was _different_ , but his reaction was worth it. His head had rolled back against the bed, his eyes clenched closed and his mouth parted as he muttered _her_ name. It was intoxicating and it made her bold.

She swirled her tongue around his length, hallowing out her cheeks as she bobbed her head. His fingers tightened in her hair when her tongue lit upon a particularly sensitive spot, repeating the action that made his hips buck up off the bed. Emma pressed a hand to his hips, holding him down.

Killian’s eyes met hers, holding her gaze as he forced out breathy words. “I’m close. You don’t have to…”

Emma didn’t relent. She wanted him to experience that same toe-curling pleasure she’d felt. She dragged her mouth along his length, unrelenting until his release hit. She swallowed his seed as it hit her tongue, pulling back with a wet pop as she released his cock.

Killian slumped back against the mattress, throwing an arm over his face as he came down from the high. Emma sat back on her knees, her eyes focused on him, watching the way his chest started to rise and fall more evenly. “Did I… Do it right?” She questioned.

He gestured for her to come closer to him, wrapping his arm around her, pulling her into his side. “That was fucking incredible.” He drawled out, leaning in to claim her lips in a languid yet possessive kiss that stole her breath. “And you’re certain you’ve never done that before?”

Emma blushed, biting her lip with a shy sort of nod. “Never. I guess I’m adaptable.” She pressed closer to him, wanting to feel the warmth of his flesh against her own, everywhere she was bare. Her gown still clung to her chest and stomach, but the fabric was drawn up around her thighs, her naked legs rubbing against his quite intimately.

“That you are.” Killian agreed, idly brushing his fingers over the swell of her breast.

Emma’s lashes fluttered. “How…” She stopped herself, shaking her head. “Never mind.”

“What is it, love?”

“A very naïve question that I already _know_ the answer to.”

“And what’s that?”

Emma arched a brow at him, before her eyes flickered downward to where his cock lay against his lower stomach. “I just don’t see how you’d _fit_.” She muttered, keeping her lashes lowered. “And I’m well aware that it works just fine, but that was still a thought that crossed my mind.”

Killian chuckled softly, brushing his fingers over her cheek, urging her to meet his eyes. “I’d offer to _show_ you, but I don’t believe that’s what you want.” Even though it was exactly what she wanted, but commonsense had a hold of her. It was _wrong_. No matter how much she ached to know how he felt in her.

“No…” She shook her head a little, unconvinced of her own shaky denial.

“You’d be quite surprised at how you’d stretch for me, love.” He ran his hand along her hip, leaning in to kiss her again. She sank into the kiss, her fingers winding through his thick dark hair. She wanted to know, almost more than anything, but she refrained herself. She had to.

 

* * *

 

Emma groaned a little as she shifted in her sleep. The dream was far too vivid, deliciously so. She spread her legs a little wider, accommodating him between her thighs. Killian was just as skilled in her dreams as he was in reality. Only it was different than last night… It wasn’t his fingers sweeping between her slick folds, it was his.

“ _Oh_.” Emma gasped, her lashes fluttering as her eyes shot open. She was disoriented for mere seconds, before reality hit her. Killian was laying between her thighs, his mouth working magic over her center, his tongue dipping inside before swirling over that little bundle of nerves that made her stomach clench in sweet preparation for something _more_.

Her fingers found his hair, holding him right where he was. His scruffy beard scratched her smooth inner thighs, certain to leave little red marks in their wake when he was done. His mouth was _incredible_. She had never heard anyone talking about this, despite her status in her village she did hear people talk and no one ever made _any_ of this out to sound like something she’d regret missing out on. Now she knew, she’d given up the most amazing sensations.

Killian growled lowly against her flesh, making her shudder and keen in response. His fingers joined his tongue, thrusting two long fingers into her, giving her body something to clench around as he tongue tormented her.

She was right on the edge of release. She could feel the coil within her winding tight, ready to spring.

“Emma?”

They both froze at the sound of knocking at her hovel door.

“Are you in there?”

Killian’s eyes held a wide-eyed look of fear that made her heartache. They would both be dead if they were caught like this.

“You have to hide.” Emma whispered, brushing her fingers tenderly over his face before she clamored out of her bed, her legs felt like they had lead weights tied around her ankles as she moved to grab her robe. Arousal had turned to dread in the pit of her stomach.

“Where?” Killian questioned, keeping his voice quiet as he righted himself, leaving no trace of himself on her bed.

Emma’s eyes fell on one of her trunks. “I need you to shift.” She urged him, moving to open the trunk, removing a few of the blankets that she’d stored in it.

“ _Emma_?”

“I’m coming Belle.” Emma called back, her eyes never leaving Killian’s face. “My appearances are not fit for an audience.” She explained, buying them a few extra minutes.

Killian leaned down and kissed her as soon as the words were out of her mouth. “If worst comes to worst, love. If they find me… You know nothing.”

“I won’t let them find you.” Emma whispered, cupping the back of his head.

Killian nodded his head slowly, taking a step back as he shifted into his wolf form. He looked up at her with thoughtful eyes. She didn’t understand how anyone could ever fell his type. Weres were no different than her people, except they could change their form… and they had, after all killed her people once.

He moved to jump into her trunk, giving her a wary look as he hunkered down. Emma brushed her hand over his furry head, draping a blanket over the corner of the trunk to keep it partially opened as she lowered the lid.

Emma gave a second look around her room, making sure nothing was alarmingly out of place, before she moved over to the door to pull it open. “Belle! How can I help you?” She questioned, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible.

“I need your advice.”

“About what?” Emma closed the door behind Belle, following after her as she moved towards the living space of her hovel, plopping down at the foot of her bed.

Belle didn’t speak for a long moment before she finally spoke, expelling a heavy breath with her answer. “I believe that I’m with child.”

Emma’s eyes widened, “ _Oh_.” She sat down beside the brunette. “I don’t really know if I’m qualified for this conversation. Do you know who the father is?”

“Yes and no.” Belle wrung her hands together. “It is no secret that I have _many_ lovers. If my calculations are correct it’s most likely Will’s, but as you know…”

“Anastasia, yes…” Emma nodded, “They’re promised to one another.”

“What was it you said about their relationship?”

“That the gods themselves smiled on it. But you’ll have to understand… the gods give us free will. They might smile on a relationship, but when we go against it, it nullifies their delight.” Emma explained carefully, her gaze flickering towards the trunk. “Sometimes, I believe, the gods even place people in your life who are perfect, but they can never be yours.”

“Do you think Will is perfect for me?” Belle questioned, her lips curling upwards at the corners. Hope. She knew that look.

“I-…” Emma rubbed her lips together. “It’s not for me to decide.”

“You can end their arrangement. Say the gods spoke to you.”

“And when your child is born and looks nothing like Will, you will have destroyed his life.” Emma insisted. “I can’t allow something like this to effect what I say for the gods.” Her heart was pounding in her chest. “I won’t tear apart Will and Ana unless you can prove to me that it’s his child and he wants to break it off.”

Belle huffed. “You wouldn’t understand Emma. You will never go through heartbreak like this.” She crossed her arms across her chest. “Will is _perfect_. We fit together in ways that you will never understand. But I doubt he’ll forfeit Ana, even if he doesn’t care for her. He’s confessed to me that she is a poor fit for him in the bed. He only made the arrangement because her family was prepared to support his endeavors. He doesn’t love her.”

“Does he love you?”

“Well, no.” Belle rolled her eyes. “What we have is a purely sexual relationship. We tolerate one another, but what we share in bed is worth toleration.” She reached for Emma’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “You’ve taken a vow of abstinence, you’ll never understand what pleasure can be found with a man. Or not, some men I’ve been with are terrible. All they care about is rutting and they don’t give a damn about your own release.”

Emma’s cheeks were burning hot. She had never struggled with conversations like this. She was frequently a source of working through problems, Belle was not the first, nor the last to discuss infidelity and other dalliances, but now she understood. She sat there burning still for a release she’d been robbed of, wondering secretly if she could fully forsake her vow and let Killian take her. She wanted it.

“While I may not understand the finer aspects of your situation, I do understand that something like this will not last. If you join in union together you may risk ruining his lost future with Ana, while finding yourselves woefully regretting being bound together after.”

“Then if you won’t grant me the ability to be with Will officially, then I want you to make me lose the child.” Belle said coldly, her jaw set hard. “I don’t wish to be an unjoined mother. I already know that the rest of the tribe sees me as nothing more than some willing _hole_.”

“I will have to pray to the gods and seek their answer to this. A decision like this cannot be made in one sitting. You have months before you will show and it will allow time for counseling with both of you.”

“I’d prefer if you do it sooner. You don’t have months.”

“Excuse me?”

Belle flushed and fumbled for words. “I only mean that you don’t have months to waste on this. I am thin, I will show sooner than you think. I want this matter solved within the week.”

“That’s quite a short time.” Emma’s brows knit together as she watched Belle rise to her feet, keeping her gaze adverted. “I don’t see how I can find an answer… If you want me to decide by the end of the week, please inform the rest of the tribe that my hovel is _closed_. I cannot be bothered with other matters while so many lives lay in the balance.”

“What other lives lay in the balance?”

“Your unborn child and future children with Will and whatever children Will may have with Ana. Their futures are the future of our tribe and I must weigh the consequences of each new life.”

Belle’s brows furrowed. “You’re a good woman. It’s a shame you’ll never understand what it feels like to be on this side of a situation.”

Emma nodded slowly. “I think I might be fortunate. I never have to worry about unplanned futures.” Though, if she did allow Killian to have her like _that_ , she was risking an unplanned future. One that would cause more strife than anyone had ever known. “Please tell David that I am occupied, I must not be interrupted when I seek an audience with the gods.”

“I will let him know.” Belle assured her, moving towards the door. Emma followed after, closing the door behind her after she left, bolting it shut and ensuring that her shutters were all carefully closed. It was true, she did require solace for her prayers, but that wasn’t her reasoning.

Killian was already out of her trunk, standing in the middle of her floor. “An interesting conversation, there. Are they always like that?”

Emma shook her head, hugging her arms around her middle. “No. Most don’t question their arrangements. Even I was nearly placed in arrangement before my powers showed me as the Savior.” She confessed, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Who would have been your intended?” Killian questioned, his brows knit together and his jaw drawn tight.

Emma stepped closer, smoothing her hands over his chest. “Don’t be angry.” She begged him, gripping at his shirt. “Graham would have been my intended. We were all of _five_ when that arrangement began, but it was brushed away when I became Savior.”

Killian growled. “He still thinks of you as his.”

“I am no one’s.”

“You are the gods’.”

“Yes.” Emma agreed, bowing her head. “I am the gods’ plaything. I think they enjoy seeing me struggle now.”

“What are you struggling with?”

“Nothing as serious as Belle… It’s only that I want so much more with you, but I know that it cannot be.” Emma shook her head. “And it’s not just that I’m the Savior and I have my vow, but… You’re a Were.”

Killian frowned. “And that repulses you doesn’t it?”

“Not at all.” Emma assured him, stroking his cheek to soothe his tense jaw. “I thought I would be but I don’t. I find you _very_ appealing, on the contrary.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m afraid to give up all of this, to throw away my favor with the gods on a whim. What if you find you despise me? Or all of this is just heightened emotions because I’ve healed you and none of it means anything. Then I have nothing. My people won’t accept be back if I’ve revoked my vows and surely not if I’ve slept with a Were.”

Killian pulled her closer. “My pack would see me skinned if they ever learned about this. Why would either of us risk it all on a whim? What if this is _something_.”

“Like what?” Emma scoffed. “You don’t honestly think we’re some fated pair do you? Because fated pairs typically end in pain and agony and death.”

“And a life without one another would be better?”

“I don’t know….” Emma chewed on her bottom lip. “There’s so much at stake.”

“Your friend there made a fatal slip.” Killian said grimly. “Her heart rate picked up considerably when you caught it too.” His jaw set hard again. “They mean to kill you Emma. You don’t matter to them.”

Emma met his gaze. “I caught that slip. But she could have meant anything by it.”

“Did she go on the hunt last night?”

“Probably. Why?”

“Do you not find it suspicious that they sought me out last night and yet they returned without a commotion? They were heathens the night they returned without a kill and yet last night nearly all of them were gone and they returned silently.” Killian arched a brow. “They were not hunting me, I fear. They were plotting your death.”

“Killian, _please_. I believe you’re paranoid. Is this some Were-bred fear?” Emma shrugged her shoulders. “Why would Belle come to seek my guidance? Do you assume it’s a ruse to di… To distract me?”

“Do you see now?  If you often take time to make decisions like this, it’s a perfect excuse to convince you to hole yourself up in here while they’re out there building your funeral pyre.” His hands curled around her hips possessively. “They’ll kill you.”

Emma was at a loss for words, her mouth opened and closed as she sought the right thing to say. He had to be right. They were acting suspicious with her. Belle… She wasn’t a fool. She took herbs to prevent pregnancy. Herbs that were _very_ good at their job. She would be the least expected to have it out for her. She was highly favored by David, despite her hobbies.

The right words came as a surprise to even her, because they weren’t words. They were an action. She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down for a desperate kiss. She knew nothing about what was certain with her tribe, but she knew what was certain with Killian. She could brush it off as nothing, but it wasn’t. She _needed_ him.

Killian growled against her lips, scooping her up into his arms as he moved to sit back on the bed, drawing her legs around his waist. They both reacted to her weight pressing against his erection straining in his trousers already. Emma’s fingers fumbled to get his shirt off of him while his own loosened the tie of her robe.

Emma ran her hands hungrily over his chest and shoulder, tracing outlines of scars that marred his skin. He worked her gown up higher, running rough hands over her soft thighs, making her burn with want. She was going to do this, whether the gods punished her for it or not. She need him unlike anything she’d ever needed in her life.

Killian broke from their kiss, dragging his lips along her jawline and down her throat. He jerked the laces of her gown apart, pushing the fabric down her shoulders so it pooled at her waist. He pulled back, his lips spread into a pleased grin as his eyes drank in her breasts.

Emma marveled at the way her body reacted to even just his gaze. Her breasts felt fuller and taut, the nipples drawn into nearly painful peaks, desperate for attention. Heat was pooling so deliciously between her thighs that she felt like she was on fire all the way through.

Killian cupped her breasts, brushing his thumbs over her nipples, making her whine lowly in response. She wanted to cry out for him, but she knew she had to keep quiet. He lowered his head, taking one of her breasts into his mouth, the sensation that much better than the muted way his mouth had felt over the fabric of her gown the night before.

Her back arched, urging him on as she slowly ground her hips downwards, seeking friction. “Slow down love.” Killian rasped out, brushing a thumb over her bottom lip as his other hand grasped at her hip. “I still have to finish what I started earlier.”

Emma’s lashes fluttered, her chest heaving as she let him maneuver her off of his lap and onto the bed. She wiggled a little to get the gown off of her the rest of the way, swallowing thickly as she stretched out, completely naked, before him. “I thought we’d get right to…”

Killian chuckled and shook his head, trialing his fingers over her stomach. “You mentioned last night that you didn’t think I’d _fit_ , well… I’m sure you know your first time might be uncomfortable and most definitely so with a man of my girth unless I get you ready.” He moved to rest between her legs, drawing them up over his shoulders as he lowered his mouth to her flesh.

Emma keened, biting her lip to keep from making too much sound. His tongue was focused on that tender little bundle that had gotten her so close to release before. His fingers returned, sliding into her easily. This time however he arched them up just right, rubbing against some spot within her that made her clench. “ _Oh_.”

“Ah ha!” Killian smirked, stroking over that spot again, his tongue circling again. She was right on the edge already, her body wound tight and her muscles trembling in anticipation. He worked a third finger into her and that was what sparked her release. She covered her mouth to keep from crying out as it hit, her body clenching around his fingers, shuddering at the sheer force of it.

Emma grabbed her pillow and covered her face, letting out a muffled groan as she tried to clamp her legs closed, but Killian was lapping at her, savoring everything as she came down from her high. He lowered her back down onto the bed, sitting back to work at the laces of his trousers.

“You’re sure?”

Emma nodded.

“You can stop me at any time… Well, almost anytime. I’d prefer it if you don’t stop me right at the peak. It’s a real pain.” He remarked with a cocky grin, moving back up to lay beside her, his hand still exploring her naked body.

“I don’t want you to take me like I might break,” Emma whispered. She was certain she looked drunk on desire and she felt like she was. “I want you to take me like you would… What do your people call your intended? _Mate_?”

Killian arched a brow. “Has the good virgin Savior got a devious side?” He questioned, giving her hip a playful swat. “I had every plan to go gentle with you, love. To lay you out just like this and take you… But if you want it _rough_ , well…” He started to sit up, “Roll over. On all fours.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a command and it made her blood run hot.

Emma complied, rolling onto her stomach at first before shifting onto her hands and knees. Killian moved behind her, his hands fondling her hips and ass as he pulled her into the position he wanted.

“Not exactly the conventional _first_ time.” Killian drawled out, “But who am I to deny your wants.” He kissed along her spine, taking his time still, despite her request. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she knew he could hear it. It wasn’t fear or hesitancy, but anticipation.

Her breath caught somewhere in the back of her throat as she felt his cock against her netherlips. She tensed and he ran a soothing hand along her back, dipping down between her thighs to tease at the little bundle of nerves as he started to press into her. She still didn’t know how it was possible, but her body opened to him, taking the length of him into her.

“ _Oh_.” Emma breathed out, her fingers fisting the blankets beneath them. She felt a dull ache and she wondered if _that_ was the pain everyone spoke of. Surely, it wasn’t. Everyone had spoken as though it was a terrible tearing pain that would render the entire thing _terrible_ , but it wasn’t.

Killian drew back and she gasped as she felt him draw out of her and press back in. Whatever pain she was supposed to feel was dull and completely overshadowed by how incredible he felt in her. She felt _so_ full of him and she never wanted it to end.

He picked up the pace of his movements, starting to slam his hips into hers, thrusting into her fully before leaving her almost completely. She wanted to cry out every time he filled her because he pressed into that spot that he’d found before, that spot that made her clench and tremble.

Killian’s mouth was hot against her shoulder, his teeth scraping over her skin. He was rough with her. His hands bruising at her hips, fondling her breasts roughly where they swayed beneath her. He was whispering in her ear, filthy little mutters that should have made her blush, but where was her shame now that she had him slamming into her. Filling her little hovel with the sound of flesh against flesh and moans and growls of pleasure.

When the moment hit, she swore she saw stars. Killian’s mouth covered her shoulder, his teeth tearing into her skin as his own release hit and it heightened her own experience. Her body clenched tightly around him, trembling beneath him as he had too hook an arm beneath her hips to keep her up as he pumped into her a few last times.

She was going to be marked by him and she didn’t even care. She’d already thrown everything out the window. If her people ever knew she’d been marked by a Were, that she’d _fucked_ a Were they’d kill her not sacrifice her.

“ _Shit_.” Killian hissed as he rolled off of her.

“That’s not exactly what one wants to hear after sex.” Emma deadpanned, drawing the blankets up around her naked body, giving him an askance look. He was shielding his eyes which was concerning. “Did I do something wrong?”

Killian shook his head, rubbing at his eyelids. “I just need to lay here for moment.” He muttered, keeping his eyes closed.

Emma frowned, retreating into herself, pulling away from him as she shifted closer to the wall. She’d expected something more from the end of _that_. He’d practically _cuddled_ her last night and now he was acting like this. “Killian…”

“No.” Killian grasped for her, keeping his eyes closed still as he pulled her to him. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Well, when your _lover_ is pulling away from you and covering his face.” Emma bit out. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t want to scare.” Killian whispered, opening one eye slowly.

Her brows furrowed together as she studied his eyes. They were silver. They looked like silvery pools in the moonlight. “What happened?”

Killian grimaced. “It’s a Were thing.”

“A bad thing?”

“Yes and no.” Killian let out a heavy sigh. “Yes because it has a very grave meaning for the pair of us and no because it’s a very good and very rare thing.”

“What does it mean?”

“Basically a male’s eyes change color when he’s found _the one_.”

“The one for what?”

“To be with forever. Many Weres never find their mate, their true one. Most find lovers or mates that are acceptable for basically everything. But you’re meant to stay with your mate. No one else will ever do, essentially.”

“ _Oh_.” Emma breathed out, covering her mouth. “Will it go away?”

Killian shook his head. “It’ll fade, but when I’m away from you it will return more noticeably. It’s meant to ward off others who might be interested. If you were a Were, I’d assume it would happen to you too.” He swallowed thickly. “Bloody hell, of all the people.”

Emma slapped his chest. “Don’t make it sound so terrible.”

“It _is_. I had thought that we might leave here, but I’d find you some village somewhere to settle down away from all of this, but… I can’t leave you now.”

“You were going to leave me?”

“I _have_ to return to my pack. I am in debt to the leader and eventually I will have to return and I can’t bring you with me. Mate or not they’ll tear you apart for what you are. Or worse.”

Emma grimaced, fear lancing through her. “Charming. Perhaps I should just stay here and be sacrificed and spare us all of that pain.”

“I wouldn’t let you.” Killian held her a little tighter. “We’ll figure something out.”

“Your optimism is… I don’t know if it’s necessarily reassuring, but it’s something.” Emma sighed, curling into his side. “That was… Something else.”

“A good something else?”

Emma’s cheeks went bright red. “ _Yes_. I mean, the after was a little disconcerting when you pulled away so quickly.” She gave him a look, lifting her hand to cup his cheek, brushing her thumb over his cheekbone. “But I suppose I’ll forgive you for that.”

Killian chuckled. “I didn’t want to freak you out.” He admitted, leaning into her touch.

“Well, I _am_ freaked out.” Emma admitted, leaning in to kiss him. “But a good sort of freaked out. I… I didn’t expect to ever be in this place. To find myself in bed with _anyone_ , Were or not. I was satisfied with that too. But I should have known you weren’t like any other when you walked in.”

Killian kissed her again, letting his lips linger. “Then run away with me Emma. You don’t owe your tribe anything. Are you really going to wait here for them to drag you off to the slaughter for the praise of the gods?” He scoffed. “You know this is _something_.” He pulled back, meeting her gaze. “Don’t damn us to a life without each other.”

“I don’t know.” Emma whispered, closing her eyes as she tried to process all of this. It was such a huge decision. “I’ve never known anything but this tribe, Killian. What will I become if I’m not the Savior? I have no skills that make me suitable for any other settlement.”

“We’ll make it work.” Killian promised, quite convincingly. “I have my own issues that will complicate it. I have debts to pay before I am my own man.” He said, closing his eyes. “It won’t be easy, but to be free with you will be worth it.”

Emma frowned. “Oh, Killian.” It wasn’t hard to understand what he was implying. “No wonder you didn’t desire to be my people’s slave to sell off.”

Killian brushed her hand away when she tried to caress his cheek. “I don’t need sympathy. I just need to know that I won’t leave here alone.”

“Then we will go.”

“ _Really_?”

Emma nodded slowly. “Yes. _Really_. I’d rather take my chances out there than in here, where I will sit and wait to be slaughtered in the name of the gods.” Emma shuddered at the thought, curling closer to him. “As much as I want to stay in bed with you and perhaps repeat what we just did, I’ll need to pack.” Emma pried herself from his grasps, slipping out of the bed. She didn’t even bother with her clothes, feeling emboldened knowing that he was watching her.

She gathered up the essentials, as much as she could fit into her two traveling packs. Clean garments to wear, her rarest herbs and potions she’d created, the few items that remained from her family before she swore herself to the gods. She didn’t have a lot and so little could go with them as it was.

“Is there anything you need?”

Killian sat up a little on her bed, looking _far_ too gorgeous. He was wholly unfair. He was well-toned, not bulky like some of the men in her tribe. Her eyes raked over his chest, following the trail of hair downwards, the blanket was resting low on his stomach, low enough that she could _see_ him.

“Looks like _you_ need something.” Killian said lowly, chuckling to himself. “We don’t have to leave yet, do we?”

Emma bit her lip, her cheeks going bright red. “I mean… is it an acceptable activity to do… _multiple_ times?”

“Only if you want to.” Killian remarked with a crooked grin, gesturing for her to come back to the bed with him. “Do you want to Emma?”

“ _Yes_.” Emma said breathily, his lashes fluttering as she moved to join him. “I just don’t want to do this wrong. I’ve had limited opportunities to learn about all of this.” She said lowly, leaning in to kiss him.

Killian pulled her closer, drawing her onto his lap. He growled against her lips, surging up into a desperate kiss that left Emma’s head reeling. She could feel him pressing up against her through the sheet, growing hard and ready for her.

Emma tugged at the hair at the back of his head, dragging her teeth over his bottom lip. She ground herself down against him, seeking friction. The motion was pressing him against that little bundle of nerves that drove her wild.

Killian’s hands moved to her hips, guiding her movements as he ground against her. He broke from their kiss, pressing his forehead against hers, “You’re a _very_ lucky girl.” He told her, sucking on her upper lip. The tone of his voice sent desire rushing through her veins.

“Why am I lucky?” Emma questioned, reaching down between them to tug the sheet down so they were flesh to flesh.

“Because most lasses don’t get all of _this_ for their first time. They get careless men who take them unprepared on their backs. There’s _very_ little pleasure in those sordid moments.” He ran his hands down her back. “You, however, get all of this.”

Emma gave him a look. “Is this where I’m supposed to stroke your ego? I don’t know if I’m qualified, I’ve not exactly seen many men without their trousers on and I’ve obviously never had another like this.” She leaned in and kissed him, running her fingers through his hair.

“You’re always welcome to _stroke_ me.” He remarked, licking his lips. “Your first time was on your hands and knees, your _second_ time is going to be just like this.” Killian gave her hips a gentle swat, urging her to lift up.

Emma inhaled sharply. “You want me like this?” She gave him a beguiling smile. “I like that I’ll be able to kiss you.” She told him as she raised up on her knees, allowing him to guide his cock to her center. It was still such a new sensation, feeling him press into her, stretching her. Her eyes practically rolled back in her head as she sank down onto him.

“You feel so fucking good.” Killian drawled out, his voice low and gravely as he ran his hands over her sides, lifting them to cup her breasts. “Do you like this Emma?”

She nodded her head, pressing her hands against his shoulders as she lifted up, almost to the point that he threatened to slip out of her, before she dropped back down again. “ _Yes_. Yes.” Her inner muscles fluttered as she started to find a pace for them. Emma knew that she ought to have been ashamed by the unabashedly wanton way she was riding him, but she wasn’t. Nothing about this made her feel guilty or embarrassed.

Killian lowered his head to tease one of her breasts, his tongue swirling around her nipple as his other hand palmed her neglected breast. His attention sent little waves of desire through her, making the heat burn hotter between her thighs as she rolled her hips against him.

Emma raked her fingers through his hair, loving the way the dark strands slid between her fingers. She could already feel her stomach muscles starting to tighten, her inner muscles fluttering around him with each downward drive of her hips. It had to be a sin to feel _this_ good. Even more so, given what their people thought of the other. Maybe it was the forbidden aspect that made it even better, whatever it was set her alight unlike anything ever before.

Killian’s lips traveled up her throat to her ear, whispering deliciously filthy words of encouragement to her. Words that would have made her blush, were she not clenching around him, coming undone in his arms. He came with a quiet shout of her name, mindful of the fact that there was a tribe of people outside the door that would gladly kill him and her too.

Emma sank against his chest, breathing raggedly. “How does anyone get anything down when it’s _that_ good?” She questioned, tilting her head to kiss along the underside of his jaw, enjoying the way his bristles pricked her lips.

Killian chuckled, his hands skimming over her back. “Search me, lass. It’s never been quite so _all-consuming_ for me before.” He looked down at her, his eyes still silvery as he met her gaze. “It’s not as though we can just _leave_ today. Broad daylight would be quite unforgiving if you left your hovel with a wolf at your heels.”

Emma’s cheeks were burning. “Do you propose we just do _this_ all day then?” She questioned, playing her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I didn’t know men possessed such stamina.”

Killian smirked at her, licking his lips. “Ah, _well_ … Luckily for you I am no _man_. Weres possess a very different sort of skillsets, this being one of them.”

“I noticed.” Emma drawled out, tracing her thumb over his bottom lip, grinning when he sucked at the tip of it. “I can’t say I’ve ever heard about Weres being able to endure so much. Your kind should definitely advertise that.” She wiggled her brows.

Killian laughed, “Then we run the risk of your kind enslaving us for sex and not just fighting.” He sighed, stretching his arms out above his head before returning them to her hips.

“Will you tell me about this debt of yours?” Emma questioned, her brows knitting together in tender concern. “I’m not so concerned about being torn to shreds if I return with you, we’ll figure a way out. I’m more concerned about what has you tied to your pack.”

Killian stiffened beneath her. “I’d rather not…” He turned his head, looking away from her. “It is my cross to bear.”

“If I am your _mate_ as you say I am then I want to be part of the crosses you bear.” Emma insisted, urging him to turn his head to look up at her. “Tell me Killian.”

“That’s a story for another time.” Killian told her, his jaw set so hard she could see his muscle tick. “Please don’t press it.”

Emma sighed, moving off of him to lay out on her bed beside him. “ _Fine_. But you have to tell me.”

Killian nodded his head slowly. “I will. But not today.”

 

* * *

 

She looked so peaceful beside him. Her hair was fanned out on the pillow beneath her, her lashes draped lower over her cheeks as she slept. Her face had carried the weight of the world from the moment he met her, but now she seemed lighter – if only while she slept. The journey ahead of them would be arduous and he wondered if what they had would endure it. People had left him for less in the past.

While he feigned optimism in the face of how his pack would react her, he knew full-well that they would _never_ accept her, mate or not. They would rip her apart and make him watch, rub his nose in her blood. He was destined for failure, set up by father when he was just a boy, fueled by his own foolish actions, and now the fates were laughing at him, because of Emma. Didn’t saving her from her tribe count for something? Wouldn’t his cosmic debt be repaid?

One day he would tell Emma that she’d lashed herself to a man with no luck. As a young _pup_ his father sold his brother and his freedom to save his own skin, selling them to Charles’ pack to do their bidding. Liam had been fortunate, he followed the rules, earned his freedom, and left the pack without him. Years later he’d learned that Liam hadn’t brought him with him, because his freedom had been bought with the lives of others and he hadn’t wanted to _taint_ him with his sins. But still, he’d _left_ him. Just like their father.

Then, in his near-adulthood he’d fallen in love – or so he _thought_ – with an older woman from another pack. He had been young and foolish and he gave more years of his life to Charles for _her_ freedom and then… How stupid had he been? He should have seen that she was using him. That was all she ever talked about. She wanted her freedom and he was her chance for that. Of course, he’d believed it meant she wanted to run away with him.

She was gone by the next morning.

Emma wasn’t like that. She had been willing to stay with her people, even though it meant certain death. He wasn’t just a means to escape to her. She saw him as more than a beast, she saw him as the man he was.   _Clearly_ she had an effect on him – his eyes wouldn’t go silver for just anyone.

Killian was pulled from his thoughts as Emma rolled over, her eyes opening briefly to meet his gaze, before she rolled herself closer to him, draping an arm over his chest. “Were you watching me?”

“ _Perhaps_.” Killian drawled out, lazily running his fingers over her back. “Did you rest well?”

“I did.” Emma pressed her lips to his throat and it made his heart beat a little faster. “But not well enough to partake in any _more_.”

He chuckled, “I wouldn’t suggest it, love. Evening is fast approaching and I’m afraid we need to prepare ourselves to leave.” He trailed his fingers over the curve of her waist and over the swell of her hips. “I want you to be able to _run_.”

Emma snorted. “So full of himself.” She teased, tugging at his hair as she met his gaze. Killian smiled brightly at her, leaning in to kiss away that teasing smirk she wore. “ _Maybe_ just one more time…”

Killian gave her an incredulous look. “Weren’t you just saying you couldn’t handle any more?” He remarked, his hand slipping from her hip to between her thighs, teasing his fingers over sensitive flesh that made her gasp.

Emma’s lashes fluttered and she shifted her hips towards his touch. “It might just do me in, but I’m willing to find out.” She breathed out huskily, the tone of her voice making his hardening cock ache. It really was incredible how Emma seemed to be designed to drive him absolutely wild.

“I would be remiss to deny you, wouldn’t I?” Killian breathed out, trailing his lips along her jawline as he pressed two fingers into her, groaning at how slick she already was for him. “Especially when you’re already _so_ ready for me.”

Killian pulled his fingers away from, bringing them to his lips to lick clean before he urged her onto her back. He nudged her legs apart, settling in between them with a hungry grin. “Is this what you wanted, love?” He questioned, pressing the head of his cock against her center, effectively teasing _both_ of them.

Emma drew her knees up, planting her feet firmly on the mattress on either side of him, rocking her hips wantonly. He really couldn’t believe how far she’d come; from the virginal, denied, sacrificial lamb, to a woman who got what she wanted. He could feel the magic and power that was innately Emma when they were like this, she was pure raw strength.

“I wanted to _hear_ you Emma.” Killian hissed out as she bucked against him, trying to draw him in, but his hands stopped her. “Tell me what you want.”

Emma bit her lip, giving him a challenging look as she tried, in vain, to move again. She lifted her hands to grasp her breasts, her gaze never leaving his as she tweaked her nipples. He groaned, his cock straining for her relief as he watched her. “ _Killian_.”

He growled, low in the back of his throat, ceasing her mouth in a desperate, needy kiss – still denying both of them what they wanted. It was sheer torture to resist the temptation to thrust into her and bottom out. “Say it.”

Emma lifted her hand to wind through his hair, tugging sharply at the strands as they slipped through her fingers. “You want me to say that I want you to fuck me into this mattress?”

Killian nipped at her bottom lip, “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.” He punctuated the end of his sentence by thrusting into her fully, kissing her to silence the cry he knew was rising in her throat. Emma’s nails bit into his shoulders and he knew she’d leave marks to join the new maze of scratches she’d already left all over his skin.

He thrust into her mercilessly, drawing her legs up around his as he drove into her. She clutched at him, holding on for the ride as she met his movements stroke for stroke. The unforgiving pace of his movements had them both heading straight for the edge and he stopped abruptly to delay the inevitable.

Emma’s back bowed up off the bed beneath him, her hips angling towards him expectantly as he pulled back, slipping from her. “Killian?” The word trembled from her lips as she met his gaze, hunger and need glinting in her green eyes.

“On your hands and knees.” Killian ordered lowly, his chest rising and falling heavily as he watched her obey him. She didn’t dare protest, afraid that he’d deny them both completion. Though she’d caught on quite fast, he knew she was still learning. He loved how willing she was to learn and how much she already innately knew. He had had lovers that were far more experienced than even himself, but they all paled in comparison to Emma.

She rolled over onto her knees, resting on her forearms as she presented herself to him. Emma moaned as he filled her again, muffling the sound against the mattress as she rolled her hips back to meet his thrusts. He resumed his pace, thrusting into her again and _again_. It was over far too fast, her inner muscles clenching deliciously around him as he spilled into her, basking in that moment where the lines blurred briefly and he  no longer knew where he ended and she began. Where they were _one_. That moment that made his blood sing for her.

Killian pulled away, collapsing onto the bed beside her, breathing raggedly. “Bloody hell.” He chuckled, raking his hand over his face. “What did I do to deserve you?”

Emma smiled fondly at him, tracing the outline of a scar on his chest as she curled into his side. “I shall have to ask the gods.”

“Do they really speak to you?” Killian questioned, his brows furrowing together. He’d never really put much stock into them, despite knowing that they did exist – mostly to fuck with him, it seemed. But he didn’t pray to them or think of them like beings that would _care_ about the lowly lives they played with.

“ _Well_ ,” Emma started with a thoughtful hum. “I believe they do. Otherwise the voices I hear are just in my head and I’m actually crazy.”

“You are in a bed with a Were, it’s possible you’re mad.” Killian retorted with a grin, tracing his fingers over her side. “What do they say to you?”

“It’s hard to explain.” Emma frowned, shaking her head. “It’s like they’re distant and near all at once. They come to me in dreamlike trances, whispering their answers and guidance to me.” She shivered, pressing herself closer to him. “When I was younger I hated the way it felt, but I grew to enjoy it. There were times that I would spend days in that trance, bowing at their feet to hear their teachings. I was their vessel.”

Killian made a face, “What a terrible fate to damn someone to. To make them a vessel for power hungry lounging rulers. To keep you from enjoying life because you belong to them.” He gritted his teeth. “You were essentially their slave.”

Emma stumbled over her words, trying – it seemed – to find a better comparison, but she settled on that same word. “Yes. Their slave.” She frowned, her expression mirroring his own. “I doubt they see me as that now. Now that you’ve tarnished the good little Savior.” She danced her fingers over his chest.

“The Savior was ripe for the picking.” Killian drawled out, turning his head to kiss the top of hers. “Are you prepared for what’s to come Emma? This may be our last true moment of comfort.”

“ _Yes_. I know it will be a difficult journey, but it’s one I’m willing to take with you.” She whispered, turning her own head to kiss his cheek, brushing her lips over his scruffy jaw. “Even if your pack may rip me to shreds, I’ll hopefully still have my powers to defend me.”

Killian chuckled, “Yes. Let’s not turn our back on the gods just yet.” He glanced towards one of her shuttered windows, his brows furrowing. “Your people are preparing to hunt for me again.” He said, hearing their voices beyond her hovel. “Dress quickly.” He could hear that one _fool_ approaching the hovel with another man.

Emma’s eyes widened and she quickly scrambled to get out of the bed. Killian grabbed the satchel she’d packed, throwing it into the trunk she’d hidden him in before. While she dressed he straightened the bed, trying to make it look less like they’d just spent the day laying in it and fucking.

“Do you have incense to burn?” Killian questioned, rummaging through one of the boxes on a table that looked like the sort of place she’d keep them.

Emma nodded towards another box as she braided her hair, “In there. How close are they?”

Killian strained to hear outside of the hovel, his brows furrowing. “He’s talking to someone. The brunette that was in here before.” He lit the incense, hoping the smell would mask the distinct scent of sex that lingered in the air, but perhaps he was just more sensitive to the odor. Her people wouldn’t notice it so strongly.

“It feels wrong to wear these clothes,” Emma said, running her hands over the white gown she wore. “Not quite a beacon of purity now, you know.” She flashed him a smile that was marred by the fear he could see in her eyes.

“If they try anything, I’ll be right here.” He promised her, drawing her into his arms. “I won’t let them hurt you.” Killian meant that with every fiber of his being too. He would lay down his life if it meant she’d escape from these people that meant her harm.

Emma held him tightly, before she reluctantly let go of him, wringing her hands. “It’s almost nightfall and then we can leave.” She glanced towards the doorway, before looking around the room. “Nothing looks out of place.”

Killian swallowed thickly as he heard the footsteps grow closer. He moved to press a kiss to Emma’s forehead, before shifting into his lupine form. He jumped into the trunk, his eyes meeting Emma’s as she drew the lid nearly closed, draping the blankets over the edge once again.

It was rather claustrophobic in the trunk, far too reminiscent of situations he’d found himself in during his adolescent years, but he was willing to endure the discomfort for Emma. He could barely see through a gap in the blankets, catching sight of Emma’s white gown as she moved to open the door to her tribe’s leader. He was with the other man Graham and another man he’d yet to encounter. He recognized his scent from when they’d been in the forest hunting him.

“You’ve been awfully quiet today.” David said dryly, stepping briefly into Killian’s line of view, before vanishing towards the area Emma used as an altar.

“I’ve been in prayer.” Emma explained, “After Belle came to me, I thought it was best I seek their guidance.

“And what have they decided?” He questioned, an edge of skepticism in his voice that made Killian’s hair stand on end. Something had shifted between her and her people. The way David spoke to her, in particular, no longer bore any of the reverence she had alluded to of her position. Even Graham seemed disillusioned of her this time.

Emma sighed. “I need more time. An answer like this won’t be straightforward with them. It’s a question of morality as well as choice.”

“ _Interesting_.” David mused, stepping back into Killian’s sight, looking towards Graham as he spoke. “That confirms that then.”

“Confirms what?” Emma questioned.

Graham cleared his throat, “Belle isn’t pregnant. She was asked to lie to you about that, so we could see whether or not you’re still _connected_ to the gods. There are some in our tribe that believe you’ve fallen from their favor and… well.”

The other man picked up where Graham left off. “Many of us have questioned your favor for months. Not only has our tribe been met with a serious of misfortunes at your hand, but your demeanor has grown less favorable in our eyes.”

Killian resisted the urge to growl, sensing Emma’s anger and fear. Fear lanced through him, not knowing where this conversation might lead. Graham and the unknown man were both armed. David appeared to have a blade at his hip. Could he overpower three of them?

Long enough for Emma to escape into the clutches of her tribe outside.

“I don’t understand what you mean.” Emma’s voice faltered. “When I sought the gods’ guidance, I did not ask them for _Belle_. I try not to name you when I go before them on your behalf. They have tempers and I wouldn’t dare for them to take out their ire at your folly. I asked them what I should advise, were a woman to come to me in a situation where she was pregnant and –”

“ _Enough_.” David bit out. “All I hear coming from your pathetic mouth are excuses. We are stripping you of your title and you are hereby a _prisoner_ of tribe.”

“You don’t have that sort of power!” Emma countered and Killian could see a faint glow coming from her hands. Clearly the gods hadn’t chosen to smite her for what they’d been doing. “I was chosen by the gods to protect our people and you’re going to turn your back on me?”

“You’re holding us back. You have made this tribe into a group of spineless whelps without an ounce of fire, because you kept warning that the gods wanted us to be _peaceful_. Other tribes fight for what they want without consequences. You let your own feelings cloud your judgement.”

“I did nothing of the sort.” Emma gritted out, “I have guided the tribe as the gods saw fit. Our people are thriving without bloodshed.”

“You let the Were escape.”

“Not on purpose.” The glow of her hands flickered out. “I’ve turned my head when you have led the tribe to slaughter innocent Weres.”

“No Weres are innocent.”

“It’s a matter of morality. When they do not attack us, we should not attack them. You have sought them out just to wear their furs. How is that benefiting our tribe? That is all I have ever cared about, David. I’ve poured my life into our people. I’ve forgone the pleasures of life so that you may all thrive.”

“Then it is fitting that you will also give your death to your beloved people.”

Killian was poised and ready to leap from the trunk and tear his throat out. But he didn’t make a move to attack her.

“ _No_.” Emma’s voice fell. “Please. There has to be another way. My life won’t do anything if you end it.”

David chuckled. “Your blood will be a sacrifice to the gods. We have already sought out a replacement.”

“Behind my back?”

“You expected me to ask your opinion on your replacement?” David scoffed. “She will be the fire we need to burn a name into the world for ourselves.”

The other man spoke, “She is a regal and firm in her judgement. She doesn’t let morality judge her decisions.”

“ _Regina_? You’ve called upon her to replace me? You will be damned not blessed by the gods for bringing her here.” Emma took a step towards David, as though she meant to attack him, but Graham caught her by the arms, wrenching them behind her back to keep her back.

“Don’t make this more difficult than it already is.” Graham warned.

“Can you handle guarding her for the night?” David questioned.

“I’m not afraid of her.”

But he ought to be afraid of _him_.

Emma fought against his grasp, but she eventually submitted to his grasp. David and the other man retreated, discussing something about finding the Were – _him_ – to sacrifice alongside her. How easily they’d played into their plans, unintentionally.

“Graham you’re hurting my arms. Can you please let go?” Emma asked gently, her voice tinted with fear. “I won’t try to escape. I know better. If my people have turned against me, there’s a tribe out there ready to slaughter me.”

“No funny business.” Graham intoned, moving to bar her door, which David had already barred from the other side as well. “I’m genuinely sorry that it has come to this.”

“Sure you are.” Emma laughed bitterly, moving towards where he was concealed in the truck, meeting his gaze through the blankets, before she turned her attention back to the hunter. “It’s not fair, you know. I’ve given everything to this tribe and this is how I’m repaid. I’ve watched everyone my age grow up and fall in love with their partners and I’ve abstained from everything.”

Killian’s ears laid back against his head as he listened to her. Was she trying to appeal to that part of him that was attracted to her? He could see the potential in that plan. Of all of the people he’d encountered from her tribe, Graham seemed to be the weak link.

“That is unfortunate.” Graham replied, poking around some of the containers on her table. “There are certain pleasures you’ve certainly abstained from.” Killian knew his jealousy was unnecessary, but he couldn’t help the pride that surged at the knowledge that he’d done away with that abstinence.

“Perhaps in another life it could have been you and me.” Emma said with false disappointment. “I don’t see why they have to sacrifice me. Can’t they just take my title and my purpose and leave me to live?”

“I suggested it,” Graham admitted. “Not the best idea to throw around with David, I’m afraid. But, I understand that it’s for the best. Our tribe needs a sacrifice of such monumental importance.”

Emma glared at him. “I thought you’d understand.”

“It is difficult for me!” Graham insisted. “I have spent many sleepless nights dreading that this day would come. I refuse to turn against the best decisions for this tribe. Your life is what we need.”

Emma shook her head. “Perhaps this tribe _is_ deserving of Regina’s leadership.” She hugged her arms around herself, “I just thought you’d understand that… I’ve missed out on so much.” Emma turned her back to him, moving across the room, where Killian couldn’t see her.

“You have.” He agreed, “It’s a shame that to be the Savior, you must deny yourself of the things of the flesh.”

“Like kissing.” Emma suggested. “I’ve seen so many of you partake in that and I’ve always wondered…”

“Have you?” Graham hummed thoughtfully. “There were times I thought of stealing a kiss from you. But I knew it would bring terrible luck upon the tribe. Your kind are meant to stay untouched.”

“I am no longer that kind, you know.” Emma stepped into his line of view again, a slight sway in her hips as she stepped unnecessarily close to Graham. “I wouldn’t protest you stealing one now… David stripped me of my title. I am nothing.”

Graham smirked at her, brushing his knuckles over her cheek. Killian wanted to tear him apart and chew on his bones. In his mind, Emma was his, and that predatory possessiveness felt stronger in this form than it did as a human.

His lips barely touched hers before he dropped to the ground unceremoniously.

“What the bloody hell was that?” Killian growled out as he shifted back into his human form, emerging from the trunk with fists balled at his sides.

“That was me knocking him out.” Emma gave him a heated look as she wiped her lips clean. “I’m sorry that you had to see that, but I knew the salve would knock him out as soon as he touched my lips. I knew nothing would come of it.”

“Am I safe?”

Emma nodded, gasping as he swept her into his arms and kissed her passionately on the lips. Killian wanted to wipe away all traces of the other man. He understood, he really did, but that didn’t mean it didn’t gnaw at his heart.

“Many of them have left to hunt for me.” Killian explained as he pulled back from the kiss. “Our best option is to escape through a window. They won’t be expecting you there.” He strained to listen outside the hovel. “David and the other man are gone. Some of the other men are as well. They’ve left mostly women here. They’re all armed.”

Emma frowned, “We must be prepared to die.”

“If you die, I die.” Killian told her, his jaw set hard. “If they kill you, there’s no reason for me to return to the life I had before.” He meant it too. If they killed her, he’d run himself through on the nearest available sword.

“As I would if I lost you.” Emma cupped his cheeks. “We’re in this together.” She glanced towards the body at their feet. “We have less than an hour to slip out of here before he awakes.”

“That’s ample time to make a break for it.” Killian flashed her a challenging look, moving to unlatch the shutters. “Sure you don’t want to give him a parting kiss?” He remarked, nodding towards Graham’s body.

“ _Killian_.” Emma rolled her eyes. “You’re the most jealous man I’ve ever met.” She grabbed up her satchel, looking around the room before she moved to the window beside him. “Is the coast clear?”

Killian’s brows furrowed together as he looked out the window, listening for any sign of her tribe waiting to jump them. He could hear several of the women sitting around the fire closer to the center of the village. They were talking about Emma’s upcoming sacrifice. He wanted to tear their throats out, but he resisted the urge. For Emma’s sake.

“We’re good to go.” Killian told her, giving her a sidelong look. “Come on, I’ll give you a boost.” He offered, helping her get over the window ledge. He shifted back into his wolf form, it was easier to move in that form, easier to _kill_ too.

It seemed too good to be true, that they could get out of the village unscathed. But somehow they managed it. Somehow they stowed away into the forest, out of the grasps of the hunters that prowled, ready to destroy both of them. He knew Emma was terrified, he could hear her heart pounding in her chest every time they heard a rustle in the leaves ahead of them. He had always been on the run, but Emma… This was new and it was terrifying and it wasn’t _fair_. She’d given everything she was to monsters that wanted her dead because they got tired of her being a _good_ person.

Killian could understand if someone turned on him. He’d never been _good_ , never claimed to be or wanted to be. He’d done things he was ashamed of, either because he had to or because he _wanted_ to. He wasn’t a good person, not like Emma. He didn’t know how it was that he’d ended up mated to _her_. But it wasn’t final. Not yet. Maybe not ever. The future was murky and uncertain, but given his astoundingly bad luck… There wasn’t a whole lot of hope that their future would turn out.

Emma looked right among the trees of the forest, with the moonlight shining down upon her golden hair, making her seem ethereal. She _was_ ethereal. He’d known that about her from the moment he woke up and saw her. She was pure _magic_.

 


End file.
